You
Bearer of this note is
Certified Rich
Payable to the bearer in pure, unverifiable confidence. Legal tender for bragging only.
M. MoneybagsSeal
Est. today · Trusted by nobody important
Proof that
you're extremely rich.
Your bank account stays exactly the same. Your certificate says otherwise. Frame it, gift it, baffle your accountant.
From broke to certified in three honest steps.
- 01
Choose a denomination
Three tiers of wealth, from quietly comfortable to dynastically ridiculous.
- 02
Sign the ledger
Type the name you would like history to remember. Spelling is on you.
- 03
Receive your proof
An engraved certificate lands in your inbox, ready to frame or flaunt.
Pick your denomination.
Every tier is equally valid in the court of public opinion and equally invalid everywhere else.
Tier I
Merely Comfortable
$9once
Proof that you check the price of avocados out of habit, not necessity.
- One (1) certificate, your name spelled mostly correctly
- The legal right to say “I don’t really look at prices”
- Printable on paper you already own
- Permission to call your overdraft “liquidity”
Tier IIMost Issued
Absurdly Wealthy
$49once
The sweet spot between humble and helicopter. Strangers will start laughing at your jokes.
- Everything in Tier I, but engraved like it owes you money
- An embossed seal of enthusiastic self-approval
- Honorary title: “Person of Considerable Means”
- The right to sigh wistfully about a yacht you do not own
- Waiters will now call you “sir” or “madam” unprompted
Tier III
Generational Fortune
$199once
So wealthy your great-grandchildren will fight about you at a dinner you pre-paid.
- Everything above, plus a coat of arms we invented at 2am
- A family motto in convincing, probably-correct Latin
- Title: “Magnate, Mogul and General Big Deal”
- A yacht (illustrated, drawn to scale with your ego)
- Lifetime immunity from the phrase “must be nice”
- We will pretend to recognize you at galas
Prices in real money, wealth in imaginary money. Actual riches not included, implied, or in any way real.
Beloved by the definitely rich.
“I showed the certificate to my landlord. He laughed, then went very quiet, then raised my rent. Worth every penny.”
Bianca Marchetti
Absurdly Wealthy, tier II
“I am not rich. But this document says I am, and who am I to argue with a document?”
Dev Okonkwo
Merely Comfortable, tier I
“Framed it next to my degree. The certificate gets noticeably more questions.”
Yuki Tanaka
Generational Fortune, tier III
The fine print.
Questions you really should have asked before reaching for your wallet.
Is this certificate legally binding?
Legally, it is a high-resolution image. It binds nothing except possibly your wall, if you use tape.
Will my bank accept it as proof of wealth?
We have not asked the banks. We feel, deep down, that the answer would only hurt us.
Does buying this make me actually rich?
Spiritually, instantly. Financially, you just spent money, so technically the opposite.
Can I gift one to my nemesis?
Absolutely. Nothing says “I am thriving” to an enemy quite like a beautifully framed exaggeration.
What is your refund policy?
We offer a 30-day money-back guarantee. The guarantee is that we will think about it.
Officially
Rich
Rich
Your fortune is ready. It just needs your signature.
Join the thousands who looked at their finances, sighed, and bought a certificate instead.
Get Certified